Sunday, November 4, 2007

Inside A Gerbil Brain

My short term memory is equal to Ten Second Tom. Let me explain. I live across the street from Safeway and I go there often. Like four times a week often. That is where CGSG works. That is where I drool over him and plan our next conversation. Usually it doesn't work... what were we talking about? Oh yeah, my ten second Tom memory. It seems like part of the reason why I'm always at Safeway is because I've forgotten something. For example, I am completely out of trash bags despite my purchasing 40 bags a little bit ago. I told myself I needed to get them. I have to get them since I'm just throwing stuff in plastic bags and throwing them in the garbage chute. It's not as gross as it sounds; the trash is being taken out in smaller quantities and I'm recycling-- and it's not because of Al Gore either! The other thing I've been forgetting is cat food. Josie has plenty of dry cat food, but since I have been so involved with the art show, I haven't been around for her, so I bribe her with wet cat food, because I'm a good cat mom like that. On the bright side, I've developed a love for turkey sausage. Mm, turkey sausage.

Tonight, my dinner consisted of turkey sausage and guava yogurt. Mmm, high in calcium and poultry. Dinners like this remind me I'm single. Or maybe I'm trying to bait my next boyfriend. Did I mention my taste in men usually results in someone who's only steady relationship is with Mary Jane? Yeah... CGSG probably dances with Mary Jane knowing my taste.

I want to introduce a new section to my blog. It's a little piece of each blog where I tell my opinion on current events/things I see on E!

First, I think everyone should know that Al Gore is a real d-bag. The only thing he's really done is created yet another reason for people to be a-holes. Seriously! Why does he get a Nobel Prize just because he showed that climate changes? That's like Hugh Hefner getting a Nobel Prize for speaking against FGM (this is a little extreme). Here's my beef. I've been learning about global warming since I was little. I thought one of the three R's was Recycling. Now we have a bunch of idiots thinking they are totally helping the environment by driving around their damn hybrid and shopping at Whole Foods thinking there's science to back up everything they're doing.

Has anyone else seen Keeping Up With The Kardashians? Bruce Jenner looks like he's had a face lift... similar to Al Gore. Or maybe the opposite. Is Al Gore still floppy? Is he still running around South Park talking about ManBearPig? Maybe I have been eating too much guava yogurt. Also, jazz dancing sounds lame.

Why are pirates romanticized? They abused women and they smelled bad. Plus, scurvy anyone?

In knitting news:

Look how nice... ooh... yeah. I frogged the collar. All I have is a finished sleeve. Yeah, I'm tired.

2 comments:

elizabeth marley said...

You're crazy, did you know that?...I totally sympathize with the "single dinner." Usually my dinner is crackers, celery, and whatever I can heat up fairly quickly (usually soup or oatmeal). It's v depressing.

Valerie said...

I have never understood the pirate thing either. Johnny Depp is hot and all but come on now. Disney-ized version of pirates people!! They raped, murdered and were sadistic as all hell!

It's like saying, I want to be Hitler when I grow up. Didn't Disney make a movie about him too? Yea? No?


On another note, I gotta have that pattern when you're done!

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